"In our area, Cant even go out for a run without make myself look good, I have to look good." Sylvia said. ---why? why cant you be different? try!!
"Oh, I know her, She just an IT girl, who hangs out in the night life industry" someone said. ---you don't even know her, get to know her then speak, no?
"I will never go and eat in this place, it looks just..... BAD" I often said, --- without even go to try at least once???
"Can't go with "sexy look" in a wedding, the priest will have a heart attack" a friend said in a wedding dress fitting. ----really? I will say try it, We are in 21st century... where sex sells!!
Putting people/things in a box way of thinking....
I have been feeling flat for few days, no emotions, but feeling low... effected by a friend... Have been thinking alot of what he said to me, "Stop blaming me, enough of blaming, You can write or say as much as you want as long as you are happy, but you cant always put people in a box, you are way to smart and certainly not a sour person."
So, I have been collecting thoughts of my own and others on this BOX subject!
He, I would rather not mention his name, a very private person. He has became a good friend a very close friend only since few months, He cares, he loves, he is different, just like me! He wanted to know me, study me, he made such an impact, we had spent almost everyday if it wasn't seeing each other, we would talked.
When we meet someone and found care and love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side, and yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! how is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before it vanish so quickly? life moves very fast, it rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds. In my case, that's what happened, Suddenly "puff", he has gone, disappeared in my life! not the 1st person I have met who is like that, but with him, It came as a shocked... If i did put him in that box and if only I couldn't careless then it wouldn't be a shocked..
I needed to know why, and what is wrong, and the only answers and news of him I've got, are from our friends! "He is under so much pressure with work, He is seeing a girl... " my answer was "AND?" why cant he tell me?? was he so busy that i don't get a text? I have an iPhone, blackberry, face book, email, its almost like i have set myself a system that for people to get hold of me with no problem! OK OK Shannon, be nice...I said to myself " You got to know him in a very short time, got to care about him because who he is, He was there for you at the moment of needs, he is a friend full stop!! "But all i needed its to hear from him... and my biggest question is that what has changed for him not to talk to me?? Because I'm sick, and not the fun Shannon he use to know???
I went dark.... bitter.....You are busy? I get it, I never need you to call me everyday and never will need it, your girlfriend doesn't like me? I don't care.. do you? Just tell me, from speaking everyday to no news, from asking my opinions when you feels down, no matter what time of the day is, to couldn't tell me that you are seeing someone.. that doesn't adds up!! I'm not a mind reader, I can only guess with my own side of story, even worst make things up in my head!
I know that I can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. Its one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but It's an other to think that yours is the only path.... I have never try to be right, and I have never wish everyone are the same, if we all been made and think the same way the world will be boring and won't move forward.
By radical, i understand one who goes too far, by conservative, one who does not go far enough, by reactionary, one who won't go at all.. and you my friend, you are reactionary! I'm not Radical, not Conservative certainly not Reactionary! I know so well that going to synagogue doesn't make you a Jew anymore than going to MC Donald makes you a hamburger..
I like to go on adventures, its like the lottery tickets, I lose always, but the greater the number of my tickets, the nearer my approach to this certainty... I always see the hopes! We often put our self and others in a box!! Me, i do it all the time, but mine is A PANDORA'S BOX..
Adventure without risk is Disneyland but Disneyland is not where everyone lives in!!!!!
My adventure is to take the risk of lose my friendship with many of you by putting you into that PANDORA'S BOX of mine... the world of ENVY, CRIME, HATE AND DISEASE live alongside of you, but HOPE, one day you will come talk to me, educate me so i will not put you in any box!
LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
"Oh, I know her, She just an IT girl, who hangs out in the night life industry" someone said. ---you don't even know her, get to know her then speak, no?
"I will never go and eat in this place, it looks just..... BAD" I often said, --- without even go to try at least once???
"Can't go with "sexy look" in a wedding, the priest will have a heart attack" a friend said in a wedding dress fitting. ----really? I will say try it, We are in 21st century... where sex sells!!
Putting people/things in a box way of thinking....I have been feeling flat for few days, no emotions, but feeling low... effected by a friend... Have been thinking alot of what he said to me, "Stop blaming me, enough of blaming, You can write or say as much as you want as long as you are happy, but you cant always put people in a box, you are way to smart and certainly not a sour person."
So, I have been collecting thoughts of my own and others on this BOX subject!
He, I would rather not mention his name, a very private person. He has became a good friend a very close friend only since few months, He cares, he loves, he is different, just like me! He wanted to know me, study me, he made such an impact, we had spent almost everyday if it wasn't seeing each other, we would talked.
When we meet someone and found care and love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side, and yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! how is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before it vanish so quickly? life moves very fast, it rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds. In my case, that's what happened, Suddenly "puff", he has gone, disappeared in my life! not the 1st person I have met who is like that, but with him, It came as a shocked... If i did put him in that box and if only I couldn't careless then it wouldn't be a shocked..
I needed to know why, and what is wrong, and the only answers and news of him I've got, are from our friends! "He is under so much pressure with work, He is seeing a girl... " my answer was "AND?" why cant he tell me?? was he so busy that i don't get a text? I have an iPhone, blackberry, face book, email, its almost like i have set myself a system that for people to get hold of me with no problem! OK OK Shannon, be nice...I said to myself " You got to know him in a very short time, got to care about him because who he is, He was there for you at the moment of needs, he is a friend full stop!! "But all i needed its to hear from him... and my biggest question is that what has changed for him not to talk to me?? Because I'm sick, and not the fun Shannon he use to know???
I went dark.... bitter.....You are busy? I get it, I never need you to call me everyday and never will need it, your girlfriend doesn't like me? I don't care.. do you? Just tell me, from speaking everyday to no news, from asking my opinions when you feels down, no matter what time of the day is, to couldn't tell me that you are seeing someone.. that doesn't adds up!! I'm not a mind reader, I can only guess with my own side of story, even worst make things up in my head!
I know that I can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. Its one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but It's an other to think that yours is the only path.... I have never try to be right, and I have never wish everyone are the same, if we all been made and think the same way the world will be boring and won't move forward.
By radical, i understand one who goes too far, by conservative, one who does not go far enough, by reactionary, one who won't go at all.. and you my friend, you are reactionary! I'm not Radical, not Conservative certainly not Reactionary! I know so well that going to synagogue doesn't make you a Jew anymore than going to MC Donald makes you a hamburger..
I like to go on adventures, its like the lottery tickets, I lose always, but the greater the number of my tickets, the nearer my approach to this certainty... I always see the hopes! We often put our self and others in a box!! Me, i do it all the time, but mine is A PANDORA'S BOX..
Adventure without risk is Disneyland but Disneyland is not where everyone lives in!!!!!
My adventure is to take the risk of lose my friendship with many of you by putting you into that PANDORA'S BOX of mine... the world of ENVY, CRIME, HATE AND DISEASE live alongside of you, but HOPE, one day you will come talk to me, educate me so i will not put you in any box!
LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
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