"one down three to go" Sylvia

Chemo...one down three to go.....

I'm still not sure what the hell is going on, I'm tired all the time, sleep like a bear in the winter.. bone pain comes and go, not to mention all the other pain all around my body..pain killer become my best friend....
The worst part is the bone pain, i was given a shot after my infusion of the chemo to boost the production of the white cells to fight off infection, this stuff is called Neulasta, its a new drug, the name sounds so powerful, and apparently it will help me last..it feels like they were breaking from inside, like the worst growing pain... today its my 3rd days after the chemo... pain is going away... doctor told me that I'm young, I'm fighting it quicker than he think i will, that i am lucky and i should take a walk out of the house... i may just do that.

I see it all the time in books, or movies or worse, "the news". "x,y,z's life changed that day" "that was the day everything changed"I think all of that is bullshit, it takes more than an event or a moment to change a life or a person, this is because change takes time, i may change, but its not because of a day or an event, i will change because of a process, change takes time...a person's life doesn't just change in an instant or in a day! I have always think like that... how long is my change going to take?
I may be better physically, but my brain still seems clueless about the situation, i haven't dealt with any of this on an emotional level, this has taken a long time. way too long...
David my doctor said I'm Lucky, what is luck? i didn't feel lucky, i felt scared, confused, angry, and incredible amount of the pain.. but i can carry on feeling like that, or i can lie to myself that i feel great.....for a moment i pity myself...whats is wrong with u Shannon...once again u ignore the goods focus on the bads...
everyday for me is a changing process, if i choose not to see those things that help me to get better then i will always stay at where i am, confuse.com..
So i start to go through my brain and msgs, found all the treasures that help me to change... FRIENDS..
those who be with me over last weekend to help me forget about this horrible treatment..
those who took me out for my craving on Asian food on Sunday..
those who wanted to hold my hand through out my 1st treatment
those who sat next to me watching me falling asleep, bring me food and make me realise "yes you do listen mouse"
those who bring me flower and sat next to me watch non stop X factor
those who make me smile with never stop encouraging words, jokes "have you done ur marathon around the house yet"
those who want to come cook plain food knowing that i cant keep food down..Tornado
those who being there every time i crying out loud for help just being there to listen......
those who i can get hold with just by a msg on the phone....

I am lucky, amount of the friends along my side.. and the positive energy, supports I'm getting.. yes i am indeed lucky... i have a family of my own, a circle of friends who is my family...

just after Sylvia put me into sleep,brought me a green tea and hot water bottle... she posted on my face book wall ONE DONE THREE TO GO...

xxxx

Love, Hope, and Chemo...

Hello Chemo.... my worst nightmare, Guessing i have no choice but welcome you with both of my arms open... news hit me late today! how much i was hoping to avoid you my new best friend to be...
Thought i was fine.. thought i had a choice... well, it was truly only thoughts...
Thought i was going to cry, thought i was going to shout, many times i fear to hear the word chemo, result to i feel that waiting for the right reason to live is like waiting for boat at the airport.. I hate it with passion that i cry so much lately...think soon i will start to wonder how many of my tears were genuine... i might starts to confuse it with my true feelings... i thought to myself.. fuck it.. i will give up on all treatments with what i have left.. make a to do list and go on many trips and buy whatever i want...

A phone call from a friend, and millions of the thoughts on the rest who are here giving me non stop support...woke me up...

I'm walking down the road, stop at the traffic light, gave way to a lady who is on the phone in a hurry, clearly she doesn't need to cross the road before me, but i smile at her and let her pass, she smile back, and turned to me said,"thank you"... 

I feel good...that's right.. i seem to forgotten the simplest thing that makes me happy... concentrated on myself and my life surly only brought me down... doing something good every day, love people, is the positive way to live life, that simple smile with a thank you made my day...

When i think about it with a pure effort i realize that the only things that truly matter in life are the things that we do to make others happy, and the only thing that will truly matter when we leave this earth are our relationships with the people around us we develop. I have been on the wrong path of life for a short while.. feeling extremely low on long waiting time for my treatment plan, missing out on chasing summer sun... not having the life style i used to, not be able to have the latest fashion items... i ignored that i have my loving friends who worries and never stop looking over my shoulders.. 

When i developed a love for things in my lives instead of for life itself i truly miss the point of life. i forgot that material things may be able to satisfy my appetite for a short while, but love will satisfy appetites for lifetimes. Learn how to love people for who they are and use things around me as water to a plant, only to create growth and beauty, not to create and maintain life. It has been a horrible rainy summer in London, Heavy rain showers remind me of challenges in life, i have learnt never ask for a lighter rain, instead pray for a better umbrella... my umbrellas are all the loving friends who is standing by my side during this tough time.. 

To be able to love the people who loves me.. in my case i need to be health... To be able to be healthy.. i am scare to death but my hope is chemo...

Hello Hope, you came just in time... thank you for not letting me down..thank you, people who make me realised, there is always hope, even in time in which i feel that i will never arise from being down in such a horrible way, there is always hope... when i feel as if i have gone as far as i can go, and all forward progress is halted. There is always hope.. when a friend showed me that my negative thoughts not only hurting myself but is hurting everyone around me... hope came to me.... how many times do i need to listen to my dearest and nearest to tell me that never stop believing in yourself, and never stop believing that things can be better, and stay hopeful...

To end on a positive note...to all the people who care and bring hope to me...
The fish said : "i can't see my tears because I'm in the water"
The water said : "i can feel your tears because you are in my heart."
Lesson : we may hide our own hurts and pains but never can we lie to the people who cares for us the most. Words aren't needed for them to know how we are.

It's a wonderful wonderful life

Many who loves the Tech House DJ Luciano will know the story of this years Ibiza Cadenza opening at Pacha.
On the night, anticipation in the air, He who is the main set DJ that thousands of people travelled to see has nearly cancelled his opening gig...  for those who in the know all holding on their phone and breathe waiting for the latest news on whether he is ever going to turn up. After hours delay, He arrived and gave the audience an outstanding emotional set.. why Emotional? It was because the tragic news of the miscarriage of his wife on that very same night....

Words cannot express the grief one feels when one loses love, in this extreme case, Luciano used music... his music, that particular song he last played at 7am in the morning... the lyric, those wise words are used to heal wounds and help us reflect on the tragedy... speak for his heart, many others heart, like we say, you will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost someone/something you truly love....

Now my story.....On the night I was born, Dad was too nervers, he run off to watch a film in the cinema, and when he saw me the 1st time, he said in a joke, I was too hairy to be his daughter....funny how that was my earlest and deepest memory from then.
When i grow older how much i wanted to be pretty, to be good enough as his Daughter, as i dont see him often, when i do, i will do anything to impresse him. and i will use any opportunity to show him off..
He came to my nursery boarding school, as i begged him to, although knowing he was in a hurry to catch a flight to go on one of his long business trip.. just to change my duvet as the season is changing, really i just wanted to spend abit more time with him..after saying good bye to Dad and a long hug that never was enough, I over heard school teacher complained about him, when entering the classroom..he forgotten to take his shoes off and left dirty shoes mark on the floor, the 4 yr old me picked up a mop and cleaned with anger and tears.. i showed the rest no one should say anything bad about him..
after the 1st summer here in England, i went home with some extra weight, he told me i was fat, and if he was as fat as me, he would never go out of the house...  at the age of 14, i had it... i knew he never loved me.. he had decided that since the day i was born...
since then i have never felt bad to mass out his credit card, drop out from banking after all the paths he had plan for me, choose my career in a way that he was never approved..
Years passed, he knew we were not close, he knew i hated that he never gotten to know me as who i become.. so we rarely speak... till the very end....I got a phone call just before he gotten too weak to speak, the weakest i have ever heard  from him, on the other end of the line i heard him ' I love you my baby, i have always love you.' the 1st time and the last time he said it.
Today my dad's lawyer has sent me a letter he wrote me before he passed, i read "from the 1st moment i saw her i stare at her, thinking to myself she doesn't know yet, may be will never know but i know no one ever can hurt her, this is my baby, i will do anything to protect her....." to end he said" i wish she loves me, and know that i love her more than ever, i wish i told her that enough, not only just the once.." i thought to myself and cried....

Have we ever wondered which hurts the most, saying something and wishing we had not? or saying nothing, and wishing we had? so i have decided from today if i love someone even just for the moment, i say it, i say it right then, out loud, or the moment just will pass me by.... i will not make the classic mistake of you never realised how good you have it until you lose it and let the chances pass me by ever again....

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop, my Dad quoted.... and now i learnt that teardrop was love, brought me senses of happiness that warm my heart... so i put on Luciano's song... and smile...

Everyone is fighting their own battle...even the happy ones, yes...

Very bad week, started with discovered friends who like to pick and choose plan that's beneficial the most to them, follow by having my boss's voice in my ear saying how i had to keep him updated with my condition, when he could have spend that 2 mins ask me instead of asking others, but "no offence I'm your boss you report to me" Alex says.. and on top of everything else he is not happy about, apparently I'm not been trusted for my work.. this are coming from my closest friend/boss... Then i had been told that I'm a unease, complicated person and i explain too much.and i make small things seems bigger.(wow i didn't know i have such many qualities)...... here is how i feel towards to these people..

I am sick and tired of people who have so much sorrow for their own struggles and a total lack of empathy for other peoples struggles. I am tired of attempting to be there for other people, only to discover over and over again, that the carelessness of mind that led to their problems will affect me in the end as they exercise their carelessness with me. I am tired of being unperceivable in my relationships, yet having to navigate the endless projections of others concerning who I may be. I am tired of being interpreted through my performance of self. rather than being judged by my potential to be responsive to everything that effects me. Most of all, I am tired of being used and worn down by obligations to the people I love. I am angry that I surrounded by overwhelming social stupidity and protectionism.

I am perhaps most angry that I am so scare to be alone.. but then it is so frustrating to occupy myself confronting the stupidity in so many people. I am now even angry at myself for the horrible things I wish upon stupid people everywhere who insist on a right and wrong, good and evil.

GRRRR... I have taken a deep breathe.. start finishing me and Sylvia's 1000 pieces puzzle...  it really worked... calm me down instantly..
In life i have learnt that making people happy is the best feeling in the world, but i have seem it with my own eyes feel with my heart, that the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the most lonely person. so never leave them alone because they will never say they need you.. it is hard to see the signs of loneliness, specially when someone seems so upbeat and happy.. i wish i could be selfish, so i would be less lonely and less angry over misunderstandings....so i have decided to give a break from being happy happy today...not the happiest blog ever... but a lesson....

When something bad/disappointed happens you have 3 choices,
1.You can either let it define you
2. Let it destroy you
3. Or you can let it strengthen you....

Art of drawing without an eraser = life

Very intense 2 weeks, had 8 treatments what made me sleep a lot, and painful while im at it.. lost a lot of brain cells but feeling stronger, or just the price tag of the treatment convenced me that, couldn't figure out. one thing im certain of, quitting ciggy helped thats for sure.

Facebook has became my closest and most loyal friend, I will chat with friends on it, go through peoples pages, find out all sort of things, whats going on in the city, events thats happening, all great informations, the not so pleasant part is to make up story on others life from what people post on their pages, Facebook stalking... Fun from time to time, but i've got suck into a world of attention seeking.... and i was not surprise that everyone does a bit of stalking on it...

My relationship with Facebook its base on my job, I use it to expose myself to thousands of people, tell them where i am and what i'm doing, post some cool musics, funny things i see in my daily life.. healthy relationship i would say, to promote the night club i work at, to delivery a style i have... it works...But when people use Facebook on their personal life and expose their relationship with others, that is when it gets dangers, its really not a rocket science... a simple picture or a statuts will lead to millions questions... when i see those things i DONT like to think twice, i have learnt from life, whatever you read from news paper are not necessarily true.. another point is that, whatever you read, it happened already, its the pass.. what are you going to do.. holding on the history that you read? how about looking forward to future, make you own history??

I was never good at history, i had never show interested in this subject at school.. the only thing i love about it, its hold on to the dreams i had in the pass, and hope one day they will become true in my future. As i go through life i try to remember that i have to go through life not being able to go backwards. Every thing i do and every minute i spend are things done and time spent that i will never be able to get back, so i must choose wisely on how, who and what i devote my time to. A lot of people make mistakes in life and then later on regret them, i learnt to realize that what is done is done, and i can't get it back. We have to live life with no regrets, no animosity towards people or things of the past, so that we won't lose our progress.

It doesn't bother me too much if i see a comment that i dont particularity like on Facebook, i wont press the like bottom thats for sure.. but getting into a war of gossiping, cloud my thoughts with few concern phone calls from the "caring/ nosy" friends, these are the things i try to avoid... ohhh the joy of Facebook stalking... I always said to myself, if you dont want regrets, get yourself out of it now, if you are not sure about anything, ask a question instead of gossip!

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, None of us want to be the type of person that lives everyday thinking of what could have been, and thinking of the things that we wish that we would have done, life is too short to always be thinking should've, would've, could've. its perfectly ok to think things over, but sometimes we just have to take life as it comes by....

We have to learn from our past, and learn from our mistakes, and live without the fear of making a mistake, because it is inevitable that we will, when we go through life we have to imagine that every decision that we make is being written with a huge permanent marker, not a pen and not a pencil. we are going to be reminded of our pasts because of our present situations, but the only thing that can limit you from achieving big things in your future is who you are now, not who you used to be....

" the past is behind, learn from it, The future is ahead, prepare for it, The present is here, live it" i have put on Jamie Cullum's Twentysomething... finish this blog on the note of  " i'm still having fun and i guess that's the key, i'm 20something and i'll keep being me, I'm a 20something, let me lie in, leave me alone, i'm a 20something..."

Less is More...

Friends always come to me and ask, "tell me everything, you can trust me i am your friend,"no matter what crazy things i had done i wont hide it... i have always smile at them and do as i told, might sound stupid and naive, but in the back of my head i always know, i have chosen to tell them everything, they are the one proving their friendship.. I get to choose...

Than you have lots of other friends doesn't like the fact that i give out so much information, this is the way i am, and I'm not going to change that... i like to see it as communications, in life we always fight over misunderstanding, lack of communications, often we said, oh i didn't think it matter, well if it didn't matter we won't fight about it now dumb ass...what a waste of time and energy... why do we always create dramas.. can anything be simple?
Anyway, a bad day for me, clearly i was upset by a friend's comment... since when i start to care what other thinks...

It is easy to see that in this world as long as i am being myself someone somewhere will have a problem with it... being myself can be very challenging, because trying to fit in to places such as work place, school, or around friends is a normal human reaction...Not everybody is going to like who i am, that is not up to me, and that isn't why i should concern myself with, only give my time to those who are appreciative of the person that i am, not those that will only tolerate me, or try to change me... not going where i am loved for whom i am will surely result in my compromising who i am at heart in order to fit in....
I had lost few friends along the way... but i have come to an understanding of who i have a friendship with... less friends but surly more friendships....

I thought to myself, you have 2 things to worry about, either you are sick or you are healthy, if you are healthy, you have nothing to worry about, but if you are sick you have 2 things to worry about, you will get well, or you will die, if you get well, you have nothing to worry about, but if you die, you will have 2 things to worry about, you will go up, there is nothing to worry about, but if you go down, you will be so busy shaking hands with old friends you won't have time to worry... voila... i will be fine always, and have absolutely nothing to worry about, happy day!!!less thinking and concern for what others will think about you... more living please!!
A proverb has change the mood of my day, now I'm going to share it with everyone...
Fear less, hope more, eat less chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more.. hate less , love more, and all good things are yours..

littlemisssunshine
xx

Young forever

I stopped to get some dinner in Waitrose on the way to a friend's flat, as i was in line waiting to pay, found a 6 or 7 year old girl with her mum in front of me who had reach what seemed to be the most dramatic point of her life, I couldn't help but listen to this red faced and puffy-eyed little girl crying talking, "I'm not in a good mood today" in which her mum replied " oh... that's not good sweetheart.." "yeah" she said " i just found out that my friend has been telling everyone that i don't like Barbie, and i totally DO like Barbie this year, so then i asked her why she was telling everyone that i didn't, and she called me a lair."now anyone can imagine how horrible this must be for that poor little girl... to have everyone thinking that she doesn't like Barbie, so of course the mum responded with an understanding "well that's not very nice at all" "no.." she said...as they took their turn at the cashier... i was behind chuckling to myself and thinking "oh.. to be a kid again"

I was pretty tough on a friend who was not feeling the best after a night out.... misunderstood a situation and read into it too far... a mistake a child would never made, silent treatment was given, and i was feeling low...I planned a busy day so i don't have to think about it any further, met up with friends watched a movie i was clearly not going to sit till the end to kill time.
I remember when i was a kid, things were pure and innocent, because i didn't know any better, when people, all people were good and nice.. when i have a terrible fight with a friend, then a kiss and a hug will make things all better after a good cry... watch TV for fun, not for killing time and escape from reality.. playing on the street where we knew we'd be safe but didn't know what to be afraid of. fall asleep at night without a care in the world except for look forward the yummy breakfast mum is going to cook in the morning..We were happy to get an ice cream from the pocket money that we get....

I wish things could be just as simple...9pm still i heard nothing from this so called friend!! I wanted to throw this friendship away and called it an end... drama queen Shannon has awaken... then again I desperately wish i could turn the time back, so i could do less thinking, just be nice, let go and have a good day...

life is complicated, It starts before we're ready, it continues while we're still trying to figure out the point of it, and it ends before we've worked out just what to do.... Me few years ago will go through life beating myself up, and thinking negatively when conditions turns sour. Shutting down when times get hard, and not fighting our natural tendency to just give up, but i have learnt that i want to live my life and i don't want to shut down, I must laugh instead of cry, love someone when it is very easy to hate..stop making problems bigger than it is...be just like when we were kids, easy to be pleased....

Friends are families in my life.. There is no way i will let this one goes... Few nice heart felted messages was sent by me, I throw my pride away.. demand a reply and trying make the best out of a bad situation.. At the end of the day i got to talk my way back to this friendship... I'm smiling, and ready to go to bed happy...

We all have things that we'd want to go back and do again, but the truth is, we can't. We have to live in the now and do what we can to make the best of what we have. If you stop and think back to what you did when you were younger, some of it makes a lot of sense today. A lot of it was really stupid and sure, we have a lot more to worry about these days, but it's all the same stuff. Just stop for one moment in time and make it yours. Live it. Be the moment. Think about what is important to you and think about what it really is that you want... It's not that hard if you just try, it could be just as simple as when you were younger.

littlemisssunshine

xx

Cannes 2011.

Holiday Blue, Monday Blue... oh damn you!! how come you always find your way to ruin my days??

Finally I enjoyed Cannes film festival after going there years after years... great to be there when is busy, but my best memory was when there is less issues with taxis and restaurant bookings...

I'm very glad and blessed to stay in a villa that's on top of the hill with a swimming pool facing the sea, watching the sunrise and a walk in the morning was my high light instead of all the parties under the spot lights south of France.. to top it up i even enjoyed a lemon freshly picked from a lemon tree that grows in the villa... :)))))

But the 1st thing i heard when i arrived was not as dreamy, in fact the opposite, that i was not welcome into a famous Japaness restaurant, Me? what have i done now? Alex was asking me the same question.. "who did you upset now?" "I am the one who is upset now!!!" I replied..

I start to think, not so difficult, this person who i did upset has been on my mind..Because some misunderstanding from the pass, an ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend happened to work at this place, and i was mistaken to be rude to her...

What should i do? Should i say sorry now, I haven't done anything wrong! Sorry for not explain the misunderstanding that has been constant on my mind was surly too late, now everyone thinks I'm a bitch, oh dear what have i done? i was torturing myself with my own thoughts..

Couldn't sleep, woke up with cold sweat.. opened my room's windows walked to the pool side, sun is coming out, my minds start to ease by this beautiful view...

So many of us let the ugliness of our personal live blind us from seeing the beautiful things that the world gives daily, like the rising of the sun, beautiful beaches, smell of the grass in the morning.. there will be always sad times during our life, everyone has their own troubles, but if we are only focus on those things, life will be filled with hate, anger, jealousy, pain, so on with a long list of bad feeling that will only make us worse....
In the pass few months, I have learnt to look at life outside of my situations, it is easy to fall into wallow to complain when things aren't going my way, and now days all you hear is people complaining.. we are never happy...but, instead of letting whatever is going on in my life get the best of me, i have taken time out from my life, To enjoy the beauty of it I went for a long nature walk around the villa, listen to the birds singing, and let the soft sun kisses my skin... do things what i truly love deep down...

I wouldn't be human if i wasn't able to think about my actions before committing to them, but sometimes we all tend to over analyse situations, and listening to google takes way too much time..Alex did suggest me to do nothing, but let him handle it..I wanted to ask my friends what i should do. My army of thoughts stopped by the simple beauties that life has to offer.. I stopped worrying about what everyone else's thinks, and live for my own at that moment!

I sent a text to apologised, didn't bother if i will get a reply or even welcome to go to the restaurant for sushi... I was just so blown away by the beautiful view that's in front of me, all i want to do its to make an other person to feel the happiness from me..

Me enjoying the beautiful natural of Cannes out of the crazy scheduled high life of south of France should happen on a regular basic in my daily life, because by doing so helped me put things into perspective, admire the beauty that life still offers in tough times.

In Cannes this year i truly learnt the meaning of "live the moment," if in every moment in our lives we choose to do just that, think less sometimes, and live more all the time.... as I'm writing this blog, my holiday blue has gone,  A song my friend Max showed me with sad lyrics but perfectly song in a happy style... I'm loving this moment.....

Littlemisssunshine
x

Circle Of Happiness

I was so so so annoyed, my Bank Card has gone... I know its that simple to just call the bank and get a replacement in 5 working day... but It's just annoying that i had used it few mins ago.. where has it gone....

At 1st, I pretended it wasn't happening. then I sat there with my doctor pretending I was listening to him so it will take my mind of it..

Then I was plunged into gloom, Imagining the effort to call the bank and wait for the new card... I'm going crazy over a simple situation...

So I looked into my handbag again, and went into an almost immediate freak because I cant find it.
It happens all the time that i mislay my purse, sunglasses, lipsticks... my doctor David realised something is up, he then asked in his thick Italian accent "Bella what is it happening?" I was answering that question with my head down searching my card like a mad person...

Calmer David then took my bag off me.. and said let me help you... within no time, my card appeared... The bliss i feel upon knowing i haven's lost my card was such a high, It is like the ride of anxiety and the joy of realising I'm safe again is such a ride...

'why did you not ask me to help' David asked.. I must want to put myself through that for some reason rather then remaining calm...... its that simple, a calmer friend's help made me happy... wanting to find my card was pure vexation! David laugh out loud, and said "silly girl, I'm happy now to see you calm... you get better with this energy I'm happy to help"

Asking for help not only make me happy, but also the person i asked(within limits of course). I always think million times before asking someone even a simple question(which equates to a lot of thinking) I have often think I'm bothering others by asking but often find that they are really happy to help... even if it's because they feel sorry for me....

Today I made a friend happy by helping him flat hunting, I'm sure he is making his friends/future flatmates happy by bringing the help to them..

David made me happy because he found my card, he then happy because he is glad he can help.. the happiness came back to me from me helping others earlier of the day...

This is what Circle of happiness means.....even its just little things... the best way of cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up... then happiness will find its way back to you..try It.. It works....

Im also happy that Ed and Thyone are return from what seems the life time holiday!! happy happy day!!

LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
XX

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Lets change that...

6pm i walked out of the office went to see my happy friend Romain Cohen.. who is always smiling, who is so easy going, who is so pleasant to be around with since the min when we met...on a low day of mine.. the happy him reminded me unknowingly today, the reason why i started to write this blog, I started with the positive way of thinking and live my life by noticing things makes me happy, surrounding by good friends who makes me happy. 

I got on a bike so that the wind of change will extinguish the fire inside me.Thanks to Doggy- Romain's nick name.. I know that although ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. I learnt to accept the punishment, and find a way to deal with it, i put on my fathers favourite song from my iphone, Les Champs-Elysées...... 

What fire inside me?? Here is the start of my day... I saw my doctor.. saw the blood test result ...things are not moving fast enough for me... im not getting better, nor worse...

I hate feeling like this.. I just want to be better or worse in my case, at least i know what to do.....and what am i doing wrong that i don't get to even know what i can do....

See i knew i was right to believe in a philosophy that, “no good deed goes unpunished”. 

I amazed how the result made me feel so low.... just when i keep saying to everyone how to be happy, now im the one believe such philosophy.. It is all from my last few months experience and struggle i guess. i could be so contradicting from time to time...

I believe that we are the masters of our own future but sometimes luck has to shine upon us. I worked very hard for years and for the last few years I sleep with my phone beeping every 2 seconds to help everyone, do favours to people... including Sundays. I have not given much time for myself, to earn my bread. and in return I got sick. Life style i have it.. amazing friends i have it..but now i learnt i'd rather miss a lot of opportunities at work exchange the good moments for myself. i finally got the time for myself, its only because im not well...life is so unfare.. I am burning from inside now. I am much depressed that fire within me will burn myself very soon.

Ok shannon take a deep breath... 1.2.3.. happy day... doesn't work..... got into work hoping to take my mind off things from what i can do the best.... what was i thinking... haven't the pass few month teaches me anything from going into work?? stressful little office that filled with people i love, yes a good start, but all the things they are stressing about seems so little to me...

Holiday blue finally hits me... trip to Oslo was dreamy... Marte Nina nd alex have make the last few days so amazing... it was a chill break.. catching up with the girls took my worries away, listen to their heart speaking makes my heart cry and smile at the same time... they are living in a normal city...less stress yes.. but better quality of life...both of the girls would much rather to have a different life... but i want to live in Oslo... down to earth people trying to have good time at the weekend, might have been too drunk publicly but who cares... they are all just trying to enjoy life forget about the rest, we all have been there being the drunken idiots... live you life....forget about your image and reputations save it for the camera... find our happy moment no matter what way it will be...

We will never be happy, if we looking at the greener grass on the other side...Life is a series of moments and our experiences make us what we are. we ignored many such moments and did not try much to live our life to the fullest. I think I did things in the right way my whole life but it gave me not much but illness. I am proud that I walked the right path to have so many good friends and a good life though it was filled with thorns.

I have taken on my punishment by take time to learn about myself, educate myself from friends, learn about everyone of them..... this moment of Me time on the bike with a good song was just like a visit in heaven... should all try it... it does work!!!

littlemisssunshine

xxx

Good News

Royal wedding..... OMG big deal... I have been complaining about it the whole week... which day is the wedding again? Friday 29/04/11
I asked the next day...Which day is the wedding? "FRIDAY!! Shannon i thought you know!!" a friend shouted at me... yes yes yes i knew but i don't...
"It is going to be a night mare to travel in London on the day..." a friend said... i then asked AGAIN"why?'  i was asking a punch on the face...
I went for it... OK... this is ridicules.. people are dying around the world, all British talks about is the wedding.... not only the British, half of the world watched the wedding, and some travelled just to be here... they even make a extra bank holiday for this wedding!!!!!!!
just an other relationship end up hearing the wedding bell.. OK a prince's wedding, he is not even the king!!! love and wedding is a big joke for me anyway.. because i just don't get it.... for me the most important 4 words in any marriage is " I'LL DO THE DISHES". I think what i found the most difficult with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must know how to live with a character.... I am difficult in both, so i never wish anyone will go through that with me...

Had a liter of new blood in my body yesterday.. woke up after a good night sleep, feel stronger!!! OK, lets catch up on what is going on around the world....went on Internet... almost every headline was about the wedding!!
"Damn i missed it............"i thought to myself with a bit of sarcasm... I didn't actually feel a bit of that Damn...

Then i cant help but turn on the TV, I watched the wedding replay, how can i not.. almost every channels was playing it... the pretty dress on Kate, the moment they kiss... the smile on every ones face,

I SMILED.....

There are way too many bad news now days, its troubling, and worrying...you switch on the TV, its all about problems.... 2012 end of the world is a thought that's in my head slowly taken over everything.... Now why was i complaining so much over a simply happy wedding...

That one smile on Kate's face, tells millions of story.... she is not the most beautiful girl in the world, its not because she is beautiful so William loves her, its because William loves her makes her the most beautiful...

Passion makes the world go round, love just makes it a safer place....I was happy to see the wedding replay, i was even happier to read all the comment of how proud the Brits are in a day like this...  this is a good news for a change that's on telly, and it truely made million of people happy... why not?!!!

LITLLEMISSSUNSHINE
XXX

Stay On The Ground....

Sunny weekend in London, couldn't get better than this, lunch with the girls from work... some I know very well, but some just who I work with, bonding lunch Alex quoted.
It was such a great idea, even the weather decided to change just when the lunch ended... It starts to pour!! All good things must come to an end... the lunch was filled with love, laughter and joys, of course picking on Alex was the highlights!!!

So much of life in the elite night club, seeing all the beautiful people in blinks being greeted with VIP treatment from the hottest staff, with most expensive champagne flying in the room...I am very happy to know that me and my circle of friends are able to stay on the ground and be real...

THE GOOD THINGS in life, are not things...
Of course we all live in a society in which subjects are the only ones that are glorified. things such as  bags, shoes, cars, the amount of money we have, and other things tell some people who they are in society, truly if those are the only "good"things in a person's life then more than likely that person is not truly happy!!!

I'm going to Oslo for the weekend to spend sometime with Marte, I wanted to buy her fashion items she might love as a gift, in the end of the day girls like us, loves fashion... but instead Marte gave me a shopping list of salad sauce and snacks!!! that's it??? I asked myself..... and I smile.....

Marte, a beautiful girl who doesn't have a beautiful girls attitude! If there is character for her, she could be the bride in Kill Bill!! She is funny, loving, giving, driven and determine. straight forward and no bullshit.. people wont believe this is who she is by looking at her.. to today i still think she doesn't know how good she is just yet!!!
After living the colourful life of London, She had gone home in Oslo for her doctor career!She belongs to London city, she could flying high here with a different life to be with us, but she has chosen to stay on the ground...
Tough decision to make for a 24 yr old... but she did!!! and she is living by it everyday!!!

I want to get her some thing nice, don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having nice things, I LOVE IT!! but nice things will give you a boost just like red bull, last for few hours few days... To me and Marte, the nicest thing that we have in life are the relationships we build with people, the love we are able to give and get back freely from and to the people that we care about. the positive impact we have on this world, the people we inspire and encourage, and the people who inspire and encourage us!!

Life in Asia, I often see picture of people convening on the ground, to work, to socialize and to eat. they are the people with strong roots in the earth, a Grounded-ness that appears both primal and noble at the same time, Marte has been traveling through Asia when she was young, I start to think as much a banana I am, yellow skin, white within.. she could be the other way round!!!

littlemisssunshine
xxx

Belle et Sébastien

Belle Et Sebastien, one of my favourite Cartoon, I was watching it since the age of 5... a french one funny enough.. Its a sign!!! I should really learn to speak it!!

Enjoyed my Sat night in, chatting about life with a friend, He then use a funny way/ french way to describe bad friends, "they are like cigarettes, one day we will die from it" he is so right!! There are people out there pretend to be my friends to only get something out of me, I don't mind people like that, but what I'm doing wrong it is that i always too nice to people without look deeper and see further who i am being nice to.. then i get disappointed and upset when i realise i mean so little to them...but when i think about it, i say to myself, Shannon once you are nice to these people you instantly sent out a friendship invitation... its up to them to turn up in your circle make you see that if they care! some do but not all of them, you can't expect anything from them.. let your brain do the work, you are a lot of thing but not stupid for sure.
What i learnt since last 2 months, many people did upset me, A LOT, but what i have built from the last 27 years, from being who I am and nice to people, has bring me more happiness than sadness.. Keep the good and quit cigarette!!!

I cried many times with Belle Et Sebastien, a simple cartoon about a young boy Sebastien and his best friend a Mountain dog Belle.

Sebastian is a good natured, kind hearted and energetic young boy, Since he was born, he has been living with his adoptive grandad in a village on Pyrenees mountains in France. children in town tease him because he doesn't have a real mother, his deepest desires are to find his mother and to have a good friend.

Belle, is a large white dog who escaped into french countryside. She is gentle and warmhearted, but her attempts to help those in need are misunderstood. she is labeled " the white monster"

Sebastian has became best friend with Belle, and to save Belle from an unjust fate, Sebastian leaves his adoptive family and begins traveling with Belle. They have many adventures as they elude the police and search for Sebastian's Mother!

Both are carrying sadness but fully fill each others life by real friendship and the happiness that comes with it!!

Moral of the story from both mine and using Bella Et Sebastien is, To live our life is to suffer, although we have a choice in what we suffer. Self-discipline or Disappointment.. the choice is yours.. all in your head...

Littlemisssunshine

xx

GOODNEWS.COM: Not an other post about FRIENDS..

GOODNEWS.COM: Not an other post about FRIENDS..: "Unfortunately I have been moving from city to city since i was a baby, I have no memories of friends who I grow up with, or never given the ..."

Not an other post about FRIENDS..

Unfortunately I have been moving from city to city since i was a baby, I have no memories of friends who I grow up with, or never given the chance to get to know them.
Fortunately I had made friends along my city hooping life style, many many of them, what I'm trying to say here is that, I love meeting new friends, I love discover them, what I love the most its that bringing everyone together new and old!!!

So this post its all about NEW FRIENDS!!

Helena introduce myself to a loving group, I grow to love everyone of them in such different way, I was new, but i was accepted, wont say instantly, but i got there eventually, I am very different, but we all been make different in our own way, I found people always like to judge when they meet new people, but i say give a go, ask a question.. you might missing out a friend for life here.. I sure hope people who got to know me sees me differently, and choose to become my friends.
what makes it work for me with this group is that, there are same old dramas will happen to all of us, group dilemmas.. personality conflicts.. but when we all get together, with or without one or two glass of vino we always have a blast!! but vino always help!!!!!  hahaha....

Most of them has been so supportive since I've got ill... some came through more than a friend that i know for years.... they don't have to, but they did they do and they will always...with what i am going through made me to learn an old friend in a new way, and welcome only the real ones new or old.... when i find a group of friends like this i smile from the bottom of my heart!!! like i said to Marte who brought me a ticket to go to oslo to see her, to have friends like her and the friends i have here, illness just to balance out how lucky i am as a cow!!!!

A new friendship is like an unripened fruit, it may become either an orange or a lemon,in my case I love both, I find friendship more like Red wine, raw when new, ripened with age!!!! my favourite!!!

So for this new friendship I have, thank you my little mouse Helena!! without you i wouldnt be half greek and smiling like the way i am right now....

littlemisssunshine
xxxxx

GOODNEWS.COM: FUNNY THOUGHT OF THE DAY.

GOODNEWS.COM: FUNNY THOUGHT OF THE DAY.: "BEFORE AFTER"

FUNNY THOUGHT OF THE DAY.

BEFORE

AFTER

GOODNEWS.COM: Pandora's BOX I have put u in. YES, that's the one...

GOODNEWS.COM: Pandora's BOX I have put u in. YES, that's the one...: "'In our area, Cant even go out for a run without make myself look good, I have to look good.' Sylvia said. ---why? why cant you be different..."

Pandora's BOX I have put u in. YES, that's the one!!

"In our area, Cant even go out for a run without make myself look good, I have to look good." Sylvia said. ---why? why cant you be different? try!!
"Oh, I know her, She just an IT girl, who hangs out in the night life industry" someone said. ---you don't even know her, get to know her then speak, no?
"I will never go and eat in this place, it looks just..... BAD" I often said, --- without even go to try at least once???
"Can't go with "sexy look" in a wedding, the priest will have a heart attack" a friend said in a wedding dress fitting. ----really? I will say try it, We are in 21st century... where sex sells!!

Putting people/things in a box way of thinking....

I have been feeling flat for few days, no emotions, but feeling low... effected by a friend... Have been thinking alot of what he said to me, "Stop blaming me, enough of blaming, You can write or say as much as you want as long as you are happy, but you cant always put people in a box, you are way to smart and certainly not a sour person."

So, I have been collecting thoughts of my own and others on this BOX subject!

He, I would rather not mention his name, a very private person. He has became a good friend a very close friend only since few months, He cares, he loves, he is different, just like me! He wanted to know me, study me, he made such an impact, we had spent almost everyday if it wasn't seeing each other, we would talked.
When we meet someone and found care and love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side, and yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! how is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before it vanish so quickly? life moves very fast, it rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds. In my case, that's what happened, Suddenly "puff", he has gone, disappeared in my life! not the 1st person I have met who is like that, but with him, It came as a shocked... If i did put him in that box and if only I couldn't careless then it wouldn't be a shocked..

I needed to know why, and what is wrong, and the only answers and news of him I've got, are from our friends! "He is under so much pressure with work, He is seeing a girl... " my answer was "AND?" why cant he tell me?? was he so busy that i don't get a text? I have an iPhone, blackberry, face book, email, its almost like i have set myself a system that for people to get hold of me with no problem! OK OK Shannon, be nice...I said to myself " You got to know him in a very short time, got to care about him because who he is, He was there for you at the moment of needs, he is a friend full stop!! "But all i needed its to hear from him... and my biggest question is that what has changed for him not to talk to me?? Because I'm sick, and not the fun Shannon he use to know???

I went dark.... bitter.....You are busy? I get it, I never need you to call me everyday and never will need it, your girlfriend doesn't like me? I don't care.. do you? Just tell me, from speaking everyday to no news, from asking my opinions when you feels down, no matter what time of the day is, to couldn't tell me that you are seeing someone.. that doesn't adds up!! I'm not a mind reader, I can only guess with my own side of story, even worst make things up in my head!

I know that I can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. Its one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but It's an other to think that yours is the only path.... I have never try to be right, and I have never wish everyone are the same, if we all been made and think the same way the world will be boring and won't move forward.
By radical, i understand one who goes too far, by conservative, one who does not go far enough, by reactionary, one who won't go at all.. and you my friend, you are reactionary! I'm not Radical, not Conservative certainly not Reactionary! I know so well that going to synagogue doesn't make you a Jew anymore than going to MC Donald makes you a hamburger..

I like to go on adventures, its like the lottery tickets, I lose always, but the greater the number of my tickets, the nearer my approach to this certainty... I always see the hopes! We often put our self and others in a box!! Me, i do it all the time, but mine is A PANDORA'S BOX..
Adventure without risk is Disneyland but Disneyland is not where everyone lives in!!!!!
My adventure is to take the risk of lose my friendship with many of you by putting you into that PANDORA'S BOX of mine... the world of ENVY, CRIME, HATE AND DISEASE live alongside of you, but HOPE, one day you will come talk to me, educate me so i will not put you in any box!

LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE

ALEX NICHOLL

Alex is in a great mood today, I asked "what happened to you?""It worries me when you are happy like this" specially when i know he has gave up his planned holiday to work." simply he replied "nothing" I dont really care whether i get an answer or not, but because he is happy, I was happy that i can take the piss..

"Why are you so mean to me always, Since i walked into the club, for 45mins, non of you has said anything nice to me, I have a new hair cut, and I dressed nicely, I have just been to a dinner, and, and, and, you FAT Shannon!! yes, you FAT" "ok, ok, Clam down,Clam down" as Marte will say!!!

Yes that is the person im going to write about, My boss, my closet friend - ALEX NICHOLL

LONDON, a city for me, where i don't know my neighbors, where people don't necessarily care if they know their neighbors or not. Once i had a delivery that I forgot to stay home and wait for, postman feel weird to leave it with my neighbors when I told him I dont know them... I'm missing things that truly fed my soil when i was younger, the exchange between people, the caring and the shared history with people..

I walked into Alex's life 6 years ago, when he had decided not to give me a job, because I'm not a 6 foot tall blonde bombshell! Now days he likes to cover that story by saying, oh well Shannon, you didnt exactly made an effort that day when you came for the interview!

Oh thanks!!! that made me feel so much better! A fashion criticism from Alex Nicholl, a pale looking skinny boy back then with bad skin, not to mention,who had slick comb back long hair, a wet look that had achived by using may be more then 2 tubs of hair gel, he must has done that to get a sponsership from Loreal, knowing alex, and his business brain! im suprise he hasn't timed to go to supermarket and be the 1st in line for the daily reduced section.. Bootleg jeans that clearly doesnt fit his chuncky shape of legs, and to go with it a pair of Kicker you only see it on a school boy!!

Now we all get a picture of how shocked I was when he try to cover his horrible action( employ people by looks) by criticis my fashion sense!

THE END.

Really? That is a horrible story to tell, this Alex Nicholl is not nice!!!hang on.there is more. To contiune,
The min he realised that 6 foot tall blonde bombshell can't get job done, or at least the ones he found, couldnt, that was the very next day, i got a call,  just when i sat in my flat feeling sorry and ugly... since then we become BFF!!

Really? not really!!! To get to know Alex was a loooooong journy... always feeling awkward and hard to impress him! took me a year to start to talk to him.. that was sitting in the same office 4 times a week..he does have this problem even now days, everyone who met him feels the same, hard to approched.. running a club doesnt have people skills?? how does it work???

Traines 5 times a week, on a strict diet with no carbs, sunday=cheat day, remember in st tropez, a Sat night dinner started late(now thinking of it, he planned it late). by 12am sunday morning, Alex went for it.... PIZZA!!!! A hair cut and a tan(fake, humm may be not, must be the mediterranean blood), to finish it lucky Alex has been transfromed by a super stylish stunding looking norwegian girlfriend.

Hundreds of words later not a nice word about him, why the hell im writing about Alex??

BECAUSE THE ALEX I  GOT TO KNOW, CARES! ALEX I KNOW IS A REAL FRIEND!

people now days dont believe a guy and a girl can be friends, people always think oppsite sex always end up having sex... I have no need to conform to the stereotypes other have defined for me... Im a tomboy, I always perfer cars than barbies, Red wine than champange..
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn life around, with Aex thats what happened!!
As a boss, He is a HARD worker sets just the right example.. super good at what he is doing, the brian behinds it all, he taugh me how to become better at seeing the problems and act on it, no matter how much he doesnt like to be the person to speak to, he listens he cares, worries shows on his face, you can smell the heavy thoughts he is bearing from miles away.. He scares when he is doing a speech but he put on that brave face and brighten up the whole room, he taugh me many other things, watching him work makes me want to be like him!

As a friend, He is not very good at expressing his feeling hence we gave him the nickname CYBORG. He might not be a person who is good at communication, but sometimes communication doesnt need words, have you ever watch Hula Dancers and understood the story being told without one word? he makes me understand if we want to listen to everyone then we will have to take our turn, and let the smallest go 1st!! Its not what you say the most difficult, it is how we are going to live by it makes it hard! but he does live by it, he might seem careless from time to time, he has always live by what he said to me!!
He is not a truly passionate person, he devoted to his gym and would stop everything to go to the gym, he cares about his family and friends, and the north london flat that is not sudrounded by fancy restaurants or litter or vandalism, when he sees people who needs help, he care about each and everyone of them and try to help, in fact he care deeply about lots of things, but not with passion, or just dont know how to show it.. Well may b about his gym 'home house". He feels pain, my pain and other peoples pain, he laugh and cry but somehow the intensity of passion doesn's exit for him, to end on a positive note, i do know its in there somewhere in him, just waiting to be ignited...

Just because Alex doesnt know how to express himself sometimes it doesnt mean he doesnt care.. I care about Alex deeply, I was running the risk by doing that, but I have left an impact on him and it brought me happiness.........

Lets hope he is not going to kill me and still be my friend, if he ever going to read this, and see those photos i have choosen for this post!!!

LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
xxx

GOODNEWS.COM: ME TIME

GOODNEWS.COM: ME TIME: "1st week back to work, Day time job!!! Almost forgot how it feels to finish work at 6PM daily... This is great!! Helena is here, she turned..."

ME TIME

1st week back to work, Day time job!!! Almost forgot how it feels to finish work at 6PM daily...

This is great!! Helena is here, she turned her head gave me a wink. Alex is here, typing on his computer, emotionless as usual... DRY! and the rest of the day team... yayyyyy!!! felt like i have never left. Put the violin away, and stop being like a drama queen now Shannon, its only been like less than a month..
No longer need to send Helena my Daily doctor reports, just Thyone now, one down one to go.... the 2 girls who I always selfishly dump all my bad news on 1st, the 2 girls who I see and feel love, care, worry, sadness, just from the look of their eyes....

By choice i would love to not say anything about my illness to anyone, certainly don't need everyone running after me with plans of Catching up...But then i will go crazy if i don't share the detail a little.. When u don't have disciplines, who is there to watch over and tell you off? those ones who cares, your family who knows what is happening. In my case those 2 are my family.. when I listen, (very rarely) then you know, I see you as my family.With the attitude to kill, ready to make changes, and make myself worthy. Positive, happy!!! I see the surprised faces in and out of the office, been offered all sort of catch up plans... Amazing, should get sick more often, see all the attentions I'm getting!!! I've talked and explained, what should people know is out in the air, feel lighter, better already.

Now lets catch up with my so called friends.... OK, Now, others are making the efforts and plans!!excited, i'm getting spoiled... hummmm....48 hours later..all i have been catching up its the empty promises and plans was never planned???? I know why, I'm not longer that easy going Shannon I once am, I'm not longer the organiser who make plans. for those who I know for longer, I understand everyone has a busy, different life, and a very different way of act on changes. I dont expect much form you, Its just a dinner YOU "planned" it, no decision in 48 hours, where are the efforts?? For those who I met no longer ago, as soon as I'm not the health me, you are not the same "friend".. Do you really need to make that "effort" to be my friend? Is it that hard?  I start to feel like that junk mail of viagra are becomg more of a friend to me, at least i know i have a daily visit from it whether i like it or not!!!

Please don't tell me you want to catch up over dinner when you cant even come up with a plan in 48 hours... please don't say you will be here, when you used to call, text and hangout but suddenly disappeared, please don't start our conversation about you and yourself... and can you help me on this and that, you haven't been in contact, but when you do you need something to be done................... even worst, booty call me at 3am on weekly basics!!

I am getting angry, Wow I thought the plan to work day time its for me to be close to my FRIENDS AND FAMILY.... Re a sad comment on my last post about selfish people...

Two qualities in friends that irritate me the most.. SELFISHNESS, THOUGHTLESSNESS. "friends" who have those qualities I dislike, they are also the 2 qulalitest that we all have, but some don't have them enough, I'd be feeling less angry if i did have more of them!! If I accepting my own selfishness, and my own thoughtlessness, and if i was OK with sharing my own dramas a bit more with the world, and with being centre of attention just little bit more, that i would be far less likely to be irritated when i see other who has those qualities too. Shame I care way too much...

My plan of talking to my best friend Sofia in south of France last for 3hours, Bea joined in, 3 of us had a blast, just like the old days!!!  We didn't have to say a word about me being sick....  all i needed was that simple company, that i will never ask or force anyone into it..

Why do i have so many "friends" when i was healthy? i asked... and look where are they now?  I was so sure making friends before you need them its the way too go!! Sofia's answer, baby you had so many people coming and going in your life i have lost track... time to recognised the good ones only...

True what she said, but I did meet Bea, Helen,Thyone and herself through a traffic of new people coming to my life!!! Real friends like them are the ones who walks in when others walks out... and trust me, I will live long enough to filter it.. I'm not even going to get mad anymore, clearly this was not what the doctor ordered.. I'm just going to learn to expect the lowest out of people i thought the highest of... and care about the ones who worth my love..

All i can say its that,Everything will be OK in the END, if it's not OK, it's not the END.

LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
xxxx

GOODNEWS.COM: A THOUGHT THAT MAKES U HAPPY!

GOODNEWS.COM: A THOUGHT THAT MAKES U HAPPY!: "You see that little white box under this post says POST A COMMENT? This week I would LOVE all of you leave a thought that makes you happy a..."

A THOUGHT THAT MAKES U HAPPY!

You see that little white box under this post says POST A COMMENT?

I would LOVE all of you leave a thought that makes you happy and sad, make this place a place you can write whatever you want, express your feeling, let it run wild!! It can be totally Anonymous, I know how most of you are very SHY! unlike me... :))) I want to know what is it out there I'm missing out, WE are missing out!!! never too late to catch up.....

A close friend suggested that I should do this, he will be very happy now when he sees this!

LITTLEMISSSUNSHINE
xxx

Ok cant believe i have to do A HOW TO POST A COMMENT STEP BY STEP, for all my computer dummy friends.

1. post a comment( i hope you all know how to do that)
2. choose an option( SELECT PROFILE) from the box COMMENT AS  (most of your shy people will go choose anonymous)
3. now you can click preview to take a look yourslef 1st.
4. or click POST COMMENT.

VOILA!

GOODNEWS.COM: SPEECHLESS!

GOODNEWS.COM: SPEECHLESS!: "A true story One day a son asks his father: 'Daddy, will you run the marathon with me?' The father answers yes and both run their first mar..."

SPEECHLESS!

I dont think i can ever think of any of my problems after watching this....
There are no words to describe what you're about to see. It's all about HIM!

A Son asked his father, "Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?" The father who, despite having a heart condition, says "Yes". They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons. The father always saying "Yes" to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his fater, "Dad, let's join the Ironman together."

To which, his father said "Yes".

For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together!

http://youtu.be/OBjR1-0GVkI

GOODNEWS.COM: Smile when you are SAD, thats when you know you re...

GOODNEWS.COM: Smile when you are SAD, thats when you know you re...: " Happy Sunny weekend has come to the end... I have never felt so emotional till these days... My mood ..."

Smile when you are SAD, thats when you know you really had FUN!!

     Happy Sunny weekend has come to the end... I have never felt so emotional till these days... My mood swings are killing me...But surrounding by great group of people has make me seeing my life totally different! I'm not type of those chink who wears a masks when there is bird flu going around.. I live my life to the fullest and try to help my friends to do the same... 

I wrote my happiness list, below, after I had just found out what I am going to battle with in the next few years... I was a bit miserable. :-( But I could also see my happiness, and the Fun time i will have if i only remember these...

•               peanut butter sandwich with marmite and honey

•               listening to music, and a song from backstreet boys

•               smile at a stranger, and get a smile back

•               talking to a dog or cat, get a cuddle in return

•               singing out loud tunelessly in the shower, (my favourite A little respect by Wheatus)

•               Kiss the people i love

•               Dream of all the things i would do if i won the lottery, even if i haven't won anything, but the thoughts makes me happy!! 

now you should do yours and do your bit to fight the Credit Crunch and all that Dark and Sad in the world! Put a smile on your face, and on the faces of everyone else who reads your happiness list.

We don't have enough fun in our lives.. Fun is....... the pinch of salt that bring out the flavour, fun is....... the first date that makes your heart go faster, fun is........ share that tear of joy when you know its temporary end. In the other words, its not absolutely necessary that you have fun..... but life is better when you do... feel better, feel and do the stuff that really matters.

Stop hiding who you really are.. When it comes down to it, what do you stand for?!Always love yourself, what is not true shouldn't bother you. Start being intensely selfish, Get hungry for the things that are truly important to you. Think of the people you respect and love, the moments you relish, the impact you want to have, the legacy you want to leave. Bottom line: don't waste your time on anything else. When it come down to it, all you have is yourself. All the rest is nothing."

Stop following the rules, rules were made and meant to be break by us.. almost all of the rules are negotiable – someone just makes them up. It's no longer about what you can't do. It's about what you can do. If you follow all the rules, you miss all the fun.Start scaring yourself, Explore have fun!!! try things you normally said no to, the outrageous, and the unthinkable. go adventures.

Stop taking it all so damn seriously, "OMG" people like to shout that out loud... "what? what? who die" I love this answer of mine.. in 10 year, will you remember what you worry about? In 100 years, will anyone care? so lighten up, this will pass.. as i know that don't take life too seriously, we will not get out of it alive..Start getting rid of the crap...Think of all the thing that's bringing you down and getting in the way.Not just the things, but also the habits, the memories, the attitudes, the people. Get rid of that question marks what cloud your mind. we spend our life learning and building our knowledge by finding facts, but really?? facts can be seem in many many different ways.....




Stop being busy, Just because you sooo tired doesn't mean you're on the right track. If it's the wrong hole, you need to stop digging. Start something, It's time to do what you really want to do. Don't wait for permission.There are always enough reasons to wait just a little longer
, Get going on the stuff that matters, smile, smile and smile!!!

So i found myself a new way of making money, I have discovered that I'm a physic! let me see.... hummmmm OK you will die, but don't worry, you will live through it.. so now, time to have fun!!!!! 

Littlemisssunshine

xxxxx