Very bad week, started with discovered friends who like to pick and choose plan that's beneficial the most to them, follow by having my boss's voice in my ear saying how i had to keep him updated with my condition, when he could have spend that 2 mins ask me instead of asking others, but "no offence I'm your boss you report to me" Alex says.. and on top of everything else he is not happy about, apparently I'm not been trusted for my work.. this are coming from my closest friend/boss... Then i had been told that I'm a unease, complicated person and i explain too much.and i make small things seems bigger.(wow i didn't know i have such many qualities)...... here is how i feel towards to these people..
I am sick and tired of people who have so much sorrow for their own struggles and a total lack of empathy for other peoples struggles. I am tired of attempting to be there for other people, only to discover over and over again, that the carelessness of mind that led to their problems will affect me in the end as they exercise their carelessness with me. I am tired of being unperceivable in my relationships, yet having to navigate the endless projections of others concerning who I may be. I am tired of being interpreted through my performance of self. rather than being judged by my potential to be responsive to everything that effects me. Most of all, I am tired of being used and worn down by obligations to the people I love. I am angry that I surrounded by overwhelming social stupidity and protectionism.
I am sick and tired of people who have so much sorrow for their own struggles and a total lack of empathy for other peoples struggles. I am tired of attempting to be there for other people, only to discover over and over again, that the carelessness of mind that led to their problems will affect me in the end as they exercise their carelessness with me. I am tired of being unperceivable in my relationships, yet having to navigate the endless projections of others concerning who I may be. I am tired of being interpreted through my performance of self. rather than being judged by my potential to be responsive to everything that effects me. Most of all, I am tired of being used and worn down by obligations to the people I love. I am angry that I surrounded by overwhelming social stupidity and protectionism.
I am perhaps most angry that I am so scare to be alone.. but then it is so frustrating to occupy myself confronting the stupidity in so many people. I am now even angry at myself for the horrible things I wish upon stupid people everywhere who insist on a right and wrong, good and evil.
GRRRR... I have taken a deep breathe.. start finishing me and Sylvia's 1000 pieces puzzle... it really worked... calm me down instantly..
In life i have learnt that making people happy is the best feeling in the world, but i have seem it with my own eyes feel with my heart, that the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the most lonely person. so never leave them alone because they will never say they need you.. it is hard to see the signs of loneliness, specially when someone seems so upbeat and happy.. i wish i could be selfish, so i would be less lonely and less angry over misunderstandings....so i have decided to give a break from being happy happy today...not the happiest blog ever... but a lesson....
When something bad/disappointed happens you have 3 choices,
1.You can either let it define you
2. Let it destroy you
3. Or you can let it strengthen you....
GRRRR... I have taken a deep breathe.. start finishing me and Sylvia's 1000 pieces puzzle... it really worked... calm me down instantly..
In life i have learnt that making people happy is the best feeling in the world, but i have seem it with my own eyes feel with my heart, that the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the most lonely person. so never leave them alone because they will never say they need you.. it is hard to see the signs of loneliness, specially when someone seems so upbeat and happy.. i wish i could be selfish, so i would be less lonely and less angry over misunderstandings....so i have decided to give a break from being happy happy today...not the happiest blog ever... but a lesson....
When something bad/disappointed happens you have 3 choices,
1.You can either let it define you
2. Let it destroy you
3. Or you can let it strengthen you....
i feel sorry for your boss , he is doomed to be workaholic and depressing like most of citi bankers , I prefer your way of living . gracie for blogging
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